This year I am on to myself. All month I've been thinking about letting go of my imaginary ideals and showing up with an open heart for whatever happens. I anticipate that it may be a little hard to pull off on the big day. I know I'm not alone. For many people the holidays are a time of heightened need for things to be a particular way. Certainly there's nothing wrong with wanting a lovely holiday. But high expectations can hold us in their grip. What we want to see blinds us to what is actually in front of us and diminishes it. If we then distance ourselves from the imperfect, that gap makes it even harder to connect to things as they are. It is only in approaching a thing — be it this particular holiday meal or an individual human being — with attention that we can fully appreciate it, for all its faults and strengths, for all its funky uniqueness. Paying attention with kindness opens us to the wholeness around us. From there it is a short leap to gratitude. That which we see deeply enough can virtually always be counted as a blessing.

As we each look around our Thanksgiving tables next week, may we focus on the kindness and generosity that is shared between us and give thanks for the day we have been given, whether or not it is the one we had imagined.